We spend our days looking forward to what comes next (or at least I do).
I spend so much time thinking about what I'm working toward that I often have difficulty enjoying the moment I'm in. Sound familiar? I know I'm not alone in this.
Most people I know are shooting for their next big thing - a solid relationship, a new job, a more exciting place to live - you name it - we've dreamed it and we want it. But how does that feel now? How does that affect our self esteem in those moments where we haven't quite reached that dream or secured that "new" reality that we've been working toward. I can tell you from experience, it doesn't feel great.
So, why do we spend all of this time focused on something else? - something that we feel is bigger, more exciting, or more aligned with what society expects of us at age 25 - 35 - 45 or wherever it is we are in life. We've got to have goals right? We can't just sit here, choosing not to work toward our dreams because that wouldn't get us anywhere either. But at what point did we decide to sacrifice happiness in the present in order to achieve "happier- happiness" in the future? Because it seems to me that one day that "happier-happiness" in the future is going to become the present and then there we'll be again - designing a new goal in our minds and no longer enjoying the present that we worked so hard for in the past.
So, where's the balance?
I definitely haven't figured it out yet. How do we shoot for our goals while remaining fulfilled in the present? Maybe it starts with accepting that there isn't ever a single place we need to be or exact reality that we need to achieve to be happy. Maybe part of working toward your dreams without being destructive to yourself in the present comes with forgiveness - choosing to be ok with where you are, even if it's not where you expected yourself to be. And maybe, it starts with choosing to ignore the pressures of society that tell you that right now you should already be wife, CEO, mother, musician, artist, friend, and advocate ALL AT ONCE. Maybe, just maybe, there's a place between the person that you are and the ambition that you have - a place where who you are right now is perfectly right and wonderfully OKAY - a place where you can dream and plan but understand at the end of the day that you, your life, and the reality that you walk in is still just as valuable and as beautiful as what is coming next.
I know its a continued battle for myself - you bet I'm not there yet. Today though, I've decided to be ok with that. Okay with the fact that I still haven't found that balance and that I have dreams yet to be reached. Today, the sun is shining and I am writing - two things that I love and right now those are the only two things I need to be happy.
Featured quote: "What is stronger than the human heart, which shatters over and over and still lives." -Rupi Kaur
Trigger Warning: This blog may discuss topics related to mental illness and trauma that could be potentially triggering. If you or anyone you know is in crisis, please click the link below for 24/7 support. Dial 911 if you or anyone you know is at immediate risk to yourself, themselves, or another.